Here’s the funny thing, my friends. I’ve been having so much fun amusing myself by remembering all my many travel misadventures that I start to panic every time I think I’ve run out of stories to share. Realistically, I know this is impossible, because if anyone can screw up a perfectly good trip, it’s me, so I should have enough tales to last until the end of time.
Luckily, my friend Kathy, who’s been involved in a lot of my adventures not to mention kooky schemes, reminded me of our trip to Idaho to see the solar eclipse on Aug. 21, 2017.
Did you see it? Magnificent. Unforgettable.
Long before the actual eclipse, I got an offer from a guy who owned a private bluff in Idaho with a perfect view to come and experience it free, though he was offering a pay parking lot to everyone else. I couldn’t take the freebie, since it’s unethical, but I decided it really would be an amazing place to see the eclipse, so I booked a space. My brother, who lives in Utah, decided to come as well, and so did various cousins from as far away as Missouri, so it ended up being a family reunion.
We arrived shortly after dawn and hiked up to the top of the bluff with an EZ-UP, sleeping bags and snacks. As we hiked up, I heard someone already settled in say “Marla Jo Fisher told us to come here in her column.” I looked over at them and said, “Yes, that’s me,” which was a blatant invitation to say hi and get flattered, but they didn’t respond. Anyway, that was nice. If you ever think I’m too much of a Very Important Celebrity to acknowledge you in public, you’re dead wrong.
Anyway, we found an auspicious spot on the edge of the bluff, set up camp and waited. The eclipse was scheduled for around noonish and we were in the path of the totality. My totally prepared brother had purchased eclipse viewing glasses for all of us and as far as I was concerned, all we were missing was a beer fridge. All my cousins are Mormon so this was irrelevant to them.
Finally, the sky started getting darker and darker and pinker and pinker and it was like being on the best drugs I ever tried — and back in my wild oats days I experimented a lot.
When the sky finally just went dark there was a collective gasp from the thousands of people on that bluff, and we were all just gobsmacked looking around us from the top of the bluff at this spectacle of nature. It was cold, too. Kathy started keening in such a primeval way I had to just record it on my phone.
After the two minutes or so of the eclipse, it’s like everyone just came out of a collective dream. As the sky gradually lightened and became a normal hot August day, people gradually started packing up and hiking back down the hill, except for lazy heads like me who took a little shuttle bus.
Now, here’s the mishap part. We’d flown into Salt Lake City and rented a car. It’s only a couple of hours’ drive to Idaho, so I figured we’d have no problem leaving at noonish to get back. Just to make sure, I booked the last flight out that night, I think it was Delta, at midnight, so we wouldn’t miss our plane. Kathy had to do payroll the next day at her job, so she had to be home.
Well, all I can say is ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. We were in fact stuck on Interstate 15 trying to get back to Salt Lake City with what seemed like the entire 3.2 million population of Utah. Kathy and I have been arguing about exactly how many hours it was, but being stuck on the freeway for double-digit hours is not nearly as much fun as you might think.
Well, as you’ve already guessed, we missed our flight, and when we finally flung ourselves onto the airport gate staff when we arrived, hoping maybe the plane was late, the Delta people could not have been more apathetic. In their defense, I’m sure because they’d been bombarded all day. No, they couldn’t help us in any way. Yes, we could buy tickets to fly back to LAX the next day. For $762 per ticket. No, there were no discounts. If we had missed a plane earlier in the day, they would have tried to stick us on the next plane, but since the last flight had already departed, we were on our own.
I used Hotwire.com to find us a last-minute discounted luxury hotel, which was great because ostensibly every hotel in town was sold out. And we finally found an affordable Southwest flight back to L.A. for two days hence.
So, since we had no choice, we had to spend a day touring around Salt Lake City and having fun. I showed Kathy my alma mater, the University of Utah, we went into the Salt Lake City Hall and Kathy met her City Hall counterpart there, got to see the historic council chambers and a pin to bring back to her boss, and we ate a lot of good food. So being stranded by the eclipse turned into part of the fun adventure.
I don’t know if I’ll be around for the next total eclipse, but we’re already planning for it. Just don’t try to fly out on the same day.
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July 15, 2020 at 09:04PM
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